Starsorbars's Blog

feels so good

Stars Or Bars — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:52:07 +0000

i dont need to use this anymore,

because i dont need you.

what is and what never should be

Stars Or Bars — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:01:09 +0000

there is hope for us yet

but it depends on your ability to forgive

i believe though, that even if you forgive

you will never forget

these petty grievances you hold

there is something to be said for being young

only one word

stupid.

i cannot apologize any longer for transgressions

performed before i came of age

i will not argue that i was wrong

only that three years later

you are wrong to still hold this against me

i am not who i was

and you have a very short time period to understand this

or i am gone

back and forth

Stars Or Bars — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:20:21 +0000

when i think about you, i smile out loud.

it almost doesnt make any sense how much i still care about you

but i think that one day this will all make sense

to both of us

Stars Or Bars — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 07:05:39 +0000

i sit here like im actually talking

as though the things i scream and script to these pages

actually mean anything to anybody.

i cannot possibly know if you are listening, though you alone know the book.

there is no way to be sure i’m not just screaming at the darkness.

but still i cannot stop, for better or for worse

you play muse to me.

and it is to your rythym and cadence

that i have written my most prized posessions.

songs about love, about hate,

and about deciet.

about trust and lack thereof.

about the perils of love and the pitfalls of vanity,

i speak to you and you alone.

i can give you what they can never be,

a man.

only the lonely

Stars Or Bars — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:33:39 +0000

every morning i wake up, i am still alone

it isnt easy to find pictures of you stowed away

somewhere hidden in folders and files

yes, you are beautiful, i admit it

and i feel pretty broken, thats easy to see now

i hope i dont find these pictures again,

i really cant bare to see you so often.

under the bus

Stars Or Bars — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 22:36:12 +0000

its black as night in here, just beneath your eyes

and hot as hell.

i hope the lights stay off, so i dont have to look

bring yourself around when you get a chance

fix your face before you do.

what do you see when you turn out the lights

Stars Or Bars — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:49:31 +0000

its hard to say why it is i feel how i do

i know that i wish it would stop.

it isnt clear why i hate myself so much

why i talk to myself, why i point out my own flaws

and beat myself into submission.

am i so undesirable?

i just want someone to tell me otherwise

i would hold onto those words like my last breath.

reach out to me now, tell me you love me

i need it more than ever.

you dont even have to mean it

i dont care if you lie to me,

i dont expect much more

vanity

Stars Or Bars — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 05:12:54 +0000

and then this other time, i was sitting alone

thinking about all the funny things we used to do

and write on the sidewalks

when i noticed that every single light had blown

not all at once, but not entirely seperate either

it was as though you were moving towards me

stealing what little light was left to be had

and so i sat, not alltogether lonely

but certainly not amused.

number 92, and one half

Stars Or Bars — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 05:06:43 +0000

i turn it down so low i can only hear the base

the beat is concussive and intoxicating

together we weave riddles and answers with no questions

but every time i find one, you’ve lost the other.

i could sit here for hours and scribble out

all the things i dont know, and the few things i do

but i’m tired, and done beating myself up today

goodnight

so familiar its sickening

Stars Or Bars — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:47:45 +0000

the snow falls through the smoke

like it has somewhere better to be

in such a hurry

to get to the fire.